EP.41 - How To Share Your Story and Heal Through Writing with Eda Utku
Show Notes
What if the very things that seem to hinder you—your big emotions, your sensitivities, your quirks—are actually your greatest gifts? What if sharing these gifts through storytelling could help you heal, inspire others, and, ultimately, live a more fulfilled life?
When it comes to transforming lives through the magic of words, few people understand this better than Eda Utku. An esteemed writer and author of "Live the Gift," Eda is here to tell us that it's not only possible, but it's also a journey many have taken, including herself.
Join Eda and me as we explore the transformative power of writing, its ability to heal past traumas, and its potential to shape not just narratives, but lives. As we navigate this journey, we're not just crafting stories; we're weaving the very fabric of who we are and who we aspire to be.
Here are the key takeaways from this episode:
08:08 - Don’t allow other people to create your reality through their words
14:47 - Why the feminine strength is so powerful
17:46 - The importance of honouring your feminine cycle and allowing it to take its course
24:01 - Take the plunge and surrender into your transformational healing journey
30:54 - The biggest challenges and risks Eda had to take
32:42 - What people can expect from “Live The Gift”
About Our Guest
Meet Eda Utku, the vibrant soul and thought leader behind WritePublishGrow, an innovative platform that encourages everyone to recognise the miracle of their lives through storytelling.
Shaped by her parents' unrealised artistic dreams and her own unique experiences, Eda has turned to writing as a fearless act of self-expression and a pathway to explore her own truths. From unearthing the intergenerational trauma within her family to redefining the ways she celebrates her holidays, Eda is a living embodiment of transformation.
Eda has invested her time and resources into writing several impactful books, including a biography about her mother, a memoir exploring her complicated relationship with Christmas, and "Live the Gift"—a compelling anthology of stories about individuals who have chosen to live a life built around creativity.
Learn more about WritePublishGrow on their website and connect with Eda to share and inspire stories that elevate our collective human experience.
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About Me:
I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00] Eda: The world is set up in a way that doesn't really understand the nuances and the power of listening and receiving, and we're taught that doing and speaking out, that's power and everything else is weakness. So it really kind of made me more of a whole person who's able to listen and stop and rest.
[00:00:28] Melissa: Hey there. Welcome to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, your safe space. Listen, lean in and learn the diversity of human experiences through the lens of fearless curiosity. When we learn more about each other, we also learn more about ourselves. How? Because when we listen to each other's curiosities and experiences, we relate to that which is in common, and that which sets us apart, gives us something to reflect on. We learn through and with each other. I'm grateful to you, the global community, for your curious questions. The Fearlessly Curious Podcast cannot exist without you.
[00:01:15] Melissa: Oh, welcome to another episode of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, and today I have somebody whom I admire greatly for the way that she has not just pursued, but transformed her purpose, which was this dream seeded within her into a reality. That in and of itself is an incredible, incredible story to tell and embody, but she's also now being a guide for others to do the same. Welcome Eda. How are you today?
[00:01:49] Eda: Thank you, Melissa. I'm very well, and I had a very interesting aha moment thinking about the word curious. 'Cause everybody asked me why I am so curious. And I'm like, and I felt a bit like, gosh, why am I this way? And then I looked at the word curious.
[00:02:08] Eda: I Googled it. And do you know the root of the word is from caring, to care. And I'm like, wow. It's because I care.
[00:02:19] Melissa: I love that. And all this time I've never thought to look it up, so the, and I think the word is etymology of the word, like the origin of the word. So thank you. And your curious nature led you there. I love the fact that in the energy of care, because at least in the way that I am inspired to cultivate and to create spaces for curiosity is exactly that. It's like to care about intention, to care about source, like where are people coming from to care to understand, but actually what goes beyond understanding is to care to know the other person. Whether or not you can understand them is a whole different thing. Sometimes we've gotta let go of the need to understand and just be able to be with somebody in their truth, and I got to learn about you. I got to experience in taking your magic through Clubhouse. But before we go there, of course I can introduce you and what you do. But I think it's far more powerful if I invite you to introduce yourself and I would go with the why. Why you do what it is you do. Because by describing why, you also get to tell people what. So Eda, why do you do what you do?
[00:03:35] Eda: Yes. Why do I write? 'Cause I was born to write and it was something that I forgot about because even though I was always curious and I was always asking about where words come from, my parents in there wanting to protect me, led me down a completely different path into a path of academics and medicine and biology, and so I got side tracked, but now I'm recovering that gift one word at a time by showing up and writing at least a word every day. What I like to write is memoir biography because I am very curious about not my own life, but the lives of those people around me, and it was my curiosity, which really attracted me to you on Clubhouse because you ran a club, what was it called?
[00:04:32] Melissa: Being fearless and curious.
[00:04:34] Eda: So of course, that's it.
[00:04:37] Melissa: So for those of you who dunno what Clubhouse is, it's a social audio app that was pretty much born, I think just before the Global pandemic hit in 2020. It ran as a version and it kind of spread very like wildfire across the world because obviously everybody was locked at home and it was a beautiful way for us to connect with other people across the world, like a live podcast and actually that gave birth to this podcast. But back to this moment right now here with you Eda and how we came to meet, but more importantly, your mission and purpose.
[00:05:10] Melissa: So you said that you write your recovering your dream one word at a time. I love the way that you express that. And you are a writer, and in particular, you help or you coach? You do both. You help people write their memoirs? Yes. Why? Why is this important to you?
[00:05:31] Eda: Yeah, because I guess, from my own curiosity to get to know myself better, because I realised when I started writing that I did not really know myself and I looked at the events in my life and I started asking my relative, so, Here's what I thought happened, and they would have a completely different take on how that event unfolded. Then I was like, hold on a minute. Do I really know what I know? And then I started to dig a little bit deeper, go a little bit deeper, and I started discovering that I was very reactive in a lot of the stuff that I was doing in my life, I was not the hero. I was not the one leading my life, but just reacting to whatever was happening around me, whatever people were dumping onto me. So I started to clean up my language that I speak to myself with, and the transformation really began when I started to speak out on Clubhouse.
[00:06:37] Eda: Through speaking out, my attitudes reflected back to me by coaches that I came across like yourself, really cleaned up my language, the language that I use with myself, and that reflected onto me becoming more creative and writing more, and just accepting that I have this gift and I need to honour who I am. Even though people say, oh, look, art writing, Gosh, what a bunch of fluff. That's their stuff. For me, it's very real. It's what brings the magic into my life, and that's what I'm gonna be doing. I'm gonna be having fun going forward.
[00:07:15] Melissa: Wow. Thank you. Thank you so much for sharing. That is very powerful. And so much of our realities you mentioned is conditioned by the words of others, predominantly our parents. Our parents bring us up to the best of their capacity with what they know. They guide us, they create this container, and they create this reality that we adopt. But that's the word we adopted. Some parts of that reality aren't really ours. And until you create that say space, just like you did to reflect on, okay, that's what I'm being told.
[00:07:47] Melissa: Oh, art is fluffy. Art is like maybe irresponsible, and you tune in and you're like, that doesn't feel right to me. Then you start to question whether somebody else's truth is your truth, right? It's not about diminishing anybody's truth. Whoever it is is saying that that's real for them. But it doesn't mean it's real for you.
[00:08:08] Melissa: And when you can own that truth, that through curiosity, through inquiry, through asking like, is this my truth? Until we can claim that we are constantly giving our power away to other people to create our reality through their words. So the fact that you have this mission, this purpose to help others, To support others in writing their memoirs as an adventure of getting to know themselves.
[00:08:32] Melissa: And exploration is so powerful because each of us are here to walk our own unique path, right? And I think for some people, they ask, well, if I'm meant to walk in my own unique path, then why am I being conditioned by others? And I always believe that anytime that we are walking away from ourselves, the purpose was we walk away in order to find our way back home again.
[00:08:54] Eda: Yes. We have to go through the darkness and the pain to find what feels good and what's light.
[00:09:01] Melissa: So share with us. Share with me and the listeners today, right. What happened in your life that guided you back to this living your dream, which is writing?
[00:09:16] Eda: Yeah. When I started to, I was actually really cut off from my family of origin. I was estranged, didn't have relations with them. And then because I was so isolated from my friends and from all the distractions, I started to ask the my relatives questions about when I was growing up this happened. Do you remember it? And a lot of people, they didn't, it seemed like people just did not remember it, all the things that I was holding on to.
[00:09:53] Eda: So that made me. realise that maybe I have this gift of remembering things I don't quickly forget. It doesn't quickly get pushed into the subconscious like it does for a lot of people. So it's always a bit closer to the surface. So I said, well, okay, if I have this memory, then maybe I need to start writing it, and maybe that will help other people remember the bond that we shared.
[00:10:16] Eda: And so I started with my mother, with whom I didn't really have a close relationship with up until maybe two years ago. And now we have an awesome relationship. And a lot of it is through you, Melissa, because you inspired me through your relationship with your mother who came on Clubhouse, who spoke with you, despite the intergenerational gap.
[00:10:38] Eda: I thought, oh, my mother will never understand me. 'cause we grew up in such different places, culturally, such different eras, and there's no way that we'll ever be able to connect. Impossible. Until I saw that it was possible through listening to you and your beautiful mother.
[00:10:56] Melissa: I remember you being in that room when mom and I were having this conversation, but really, I really want to celebrate you right now. In this moment, I had not realised just how amazing your relationship with your mom has become, the healing journey you've been on. That is the most beautiful gift. Anybody could ever have is to heal their relationship they have with their mother. And knowing that it's possible is absolutely the biggest step that anyone can take. It's just simply knowing it is a possibility. It's possible. I can't wait to hear more about this. Please, Eda, share more. Let us know. Tell us all.
[00:11:34] Eda: Yeah, absolutely. So I just started by listening to my mother. I stopped and listened to my mother. And I know that sounds pretty basic, but I was a girl who never listened to my mother because what did she know?
[00:11:47] Eda: She came from a completely different age and she had no idea about the realities of growing in the US because she'd grown up in Turkey. So there was all of these cultural differences between us. So I, I had tuned her out completely, not realising that we share this common bond of being mother and daughter, and also of being women.
[00:12:09] Eda: Our experiences, no matter where we go around the world, there is that kinship between all women that I now feel, which I was pretty much cut off from. And so I started also this journey of being proud of being a woman. I was a little bit ashamed of it. I didn't think as a woman, I was as good as a man, and I thought I had to embrace all the masculine qualities.
[00:12:34] Eda: Like just being unstoppable and just being there all the time and doing everything and doing and doing and just running and running and not stopping to receive or look after myself or just appreciate my feminine beauty and I was really cut off from those things I just thought I had to keep doing and being functional and serving all the time without care for stopping to be curious and caring for myself.
[00:13:02] Melissa: Beautiful. My goodness. So you said I listened. I really listened. Yeah. And I believe that listening is such an underrated, undervalued, and under-resourced quality. I'm even gonna say it's a skill, it's a quality, and I believe that we all have it because that's all we could do when we were little ones before we could speak, right? When we were really, really little, we felt, we sensed and we listened. We picked up on those vibrations. And silence can be deafening, can't it? When someone is not speaking, most of the time we're feeling quite uncomfortable. I don't know. I am, at least, I'm normally feeling quite fidgety, but over the years, as I've allowed myself to be curious with the silence and we hear, ee get to hear where words are limiting, and what I mean by that is we get to really listen for what words cannot describe. We really get to connect to each other on a different level. And what you said there about what would my mom know, it's like almost like you'd already made a decision that she's so far away from your reality.
[00:14:15] Melissa: She would never understand. And then shifting that into, well, she might bring a different take on things because she comes from a different reality and giving yourself the opportunity to tap into her inner wisdom of life experience that doesn't change no matter what the situation is. What were some of the biggest things that you learned about, I'm gonna say not just about, but through and from your mom by listening to her.
[00:14:47] Eda: Yeah, that feminine strength was so powerful. I would think that she was weak because my dad had all these demands and things for her to accomplish, and she would just. Sometimes of the month she'd be too tired and she'd just rest. And I thought that was weakness and I had no idea. And I put myself up to the patriarchal standard that my dad held and that my, you know, a lot of men mistake that we're supposed to operate just like men and we're not gonna have certain times where we just need to be resting a lot more.
[00:15:21] Eda: So I became quite dysfunctional because I was burning myself out, trying to fulfil all of these expectations that were unrealistic for me because I operate in a different way. Than other people do, and just kind of realise my cycles, my optimal times when I operate the best, and also keeping track of which day I'm on my period.
[00:15:46] Eda: Things like that, that I'd completely forgotten about that. That came back into my consciousness. And then I really started to really be my best friend, be on my side. I started to be there for myself for. Through listening to my mother and understanding some of the frustrations and difficulties she had with my father, and also with sort of not allowing herself in some ways as well, because we're all sort of forced into this.
[00:16:16] Eda: I mean, the world is set up in a way that doesn't really understand. The nuances and you know, the power of listening and receiving and we're taught that doing and speaking out, that's power and everything else is weakness. So it really kind of made me more of a whole person who's able to listen and stop and rest.
[00:16:39] Melissa: That's incredible. Tapping into your inner power and your inner wisdom and your inner truth, and in doing that, reconnecting with your inner power. Show up as you with that fearless authenticity. I'm gonna use those two words really to just show up as you knowing that nothing, no one, and definitely no system is going to define you.
[00:17:03] Melissa: And the only way that it can define you. If you allow it. I love that you're talking about patriarchy because it's very important for us to hold that awareness, right? These systems that are created that are very much grounded in masculine type energies. So very structured, very all about hustle. Do do, do, do, do. Take action, take action, take action.
[00:17:24] Melissa: And when I say structured, Okay. Structure is important. Structures and systems are important for organisation, for efficiency, but we're also not robots. We're also not a spreadsheet, right? And the importance is being able to integrate and. Always be in this dance of having structure, but being able to flow.
[00:17:46] Melissa: And that's the beauty of the feminine. The feminine that you talked about. And honouring ourselves as women and taking the lead, or rather, I should say, allowing ourselves to be guided even by our, our own bodies. With our cycles. You talked about resting. When women track their mens, their periods, their moon cycles around the world. Ladies listening. However it is you refer to it when we track it. Right. We get to claim our power again because our moon cycles, our periods are showing us when is our most literally productive time, not just to make babies, ladies and gentlemen listening, but productive time to show up fully in the world, take action.
[00:18:32] Melissa: But more importantly, those times in our cycle when it's time. To rest, to sit back to receive. And then there's the period literally of shedding, letting go, and then the period of gestation. It's not an idea necessarily to let go. It's not an idea to take action on, and it's not an idea necessarily to nurture, but an idea.
[00:18:56] Melissa: Simply sit with and allow for it to take its course. I absolutely love that you've brought this into the conversation, Eda, and I love how you are sharing. By listening to your mom, she was able to show you what her struggles were in the patriarchal system with your dad and the culture, and in doing so, that brought light to you.
[00:19:21] Melissa: You could shift that so that this pattern isn't propagated in the next generation. And you mentioned this in the questions that I'd asked you earlier about breaking the pattern. I'd love it if you could share a little bit about that. 'cause obviously we inherit, right? Our parents bring us up a certain way, they condition us, and if we, without awareness, we repeat the pattern.
[00:19:42] Melissa: How is that different for you? And I know that you are a mother too, so what has been the impact of that for you?
[00:19:48] Eda: Yeah. Yeah. So I really pause a lot more than I think my mother allowed herself to so that I'm serving my girls with my goodness and not my shortness and frustration and impatience, so I can be a lot more present for them.
[00:20:08] Eda: And also sometimes they ask me questions about womanhood and they are very curious little girls, and I allow them to ask those questions and already they know about periods and they're four and six. But you know what? It's because they live with me. They see it. They can't help but see what's happening.
[00:20:28] Eda: And one of them uses the bathroom with me, so of course she sees. And I answer her question, whereas with my mother and I, I thought it was something that I would never talk about 'cause I thought it was shameful and I would never bring that up. But my girls are able to ask those questions, receive answers, and we can have a conversation.
[00:20:47] Eda: I feel like the future is bright for women. We're not ashamed of our parts, we're not ashamed of how our body works, and we're able to have these conversations now. I'm really grateful for that.
[00:20:58] Melissa: That is such a beautiful gift that you're giving to your children, your girls, but also to yourself, right?
[00:21:04] Melissa: Because apart from being their mother, and apart from them being your children, which is an infinite bond, an unbreakable bond, you are nurturing and cultivating friendship and sisterhood, not sisters, but sisterhood, and helping to break these old patterns of silencing. Muting and shaming that comes around being a woman and the cycles and seasons that women have to live through.
[00:21:37] Melissa: Incredible Eda. So, so beautiful. Thank you for being a model for conscious parenting and I'm curious to know. How your inner child has shown up in this experience too, because at the end of the day, you know how I feel about adulting, right? At the end of the day, we're all just big kids trying to figure things out, and when we heal or at least show a curiosity to transforming the relationship and the belief systems that we have around our parents and our mothers in particular as women, how did that impact your relationship and connection with your inner child?
[00:22:14] Eda: Wow. My inner child shows up a lot, and the good thing is I'm not reactive about it. I don't react out of the inner child. I can recognize that it's the inner child and there's a need there that hasn't been met, and I can go back and journal about it. However, it doesn't mean I always get it right. I do sometimes get really triggered that I have to speak out.
[00:22:39] Eda: When I speak out though, I usually say something like, okay, what you just did hurt me because I felt like you aren't listening to me. However, sometimes when I deliver this to people like my brother, this is the latest episode.
[00:22:55] Melissa: Okay. Okay. You can send him this podcast when it comes out with so much love.
[00:23:00] Eda: Yeah, absolutely. Because his emotional needs weren't met either. Yes. He's not able to take that on board, whereas other people are able to understand that there was a sensitivity within me that came up and we're able to have a conversation about it without blaming anyone can just try to figure out how we can go forward.
[00:23:20] Eda: Whereas with people who have grown up in households where their emotions weren't always heard, when I say I was hurt, I'm speaking up because I felt hurt that you did this. It can become quite triggering and confronting. So I noticed that and. So my brother and I were working on it. I'm keeping a gratitude journal for him every day for the next 90 days because it takes about 90 days to change some patterns.
[00:23:47] Eda: I'm writing something about him that I'm grateful about. He doesn't have to do the same. However, I feel like me making that change and being a lot more grateful for him, it automatically makes some sort of shift in our relationship. So I'm just working on, on my end.
[00:24:01] Melissa: My gosh, Eda. I'm so grateful for everything that you are doing because folks who are listening, when we dive, take the dive, take the plunge, surrender into our own transformational healing journey. You gotta do it for yourself first. It's all about you. That I would say to you, own that selfishness. What society claims is selfish. You know what? Own it. Yeah. Because your personal healing journey, right?
[00:24:26] Melissa: Eda at the end of the day is going to create this ripple effect. Like you just said, I'm starting this gratitude journal for my brother. Right. Whether he does it or not, it doesn't matter. You are doing it because you are now sending out a new vibration out there and like it or not, it's going to impact him.
[00:24:44] Melissa: Yeah. How it shows up in him is going to be different. And being open to how it shows up, it's gonna be very important because we all have expectations. It's perfectly normal. To have expectations. The key is to not be attached to the outcome. Exactly. And you know, I don't like the word work, but just for convenience's sake, I'm gonna use the word work.
[00:25:04] Melissa: When you put the work in, oh no, I can rephrase it. When we put effort into something, we can be guaranteed of an outcome that is fulfilling because your intention is so incredibly pure and that in a child that you're talking about, Oh my goodness. The language that you are speaking with, right, is something that so many of us are not used to.
[00:25:28] Melissa: So when we create this kind of intervention, almost with language where you are owning, right? How many of you out there listeners go, you said that and you made me feel this. It's always about the other person, the blame. But what I heard you say, Edda is like, I feel this way when you said that. So it's like factual.
[00:25:48] Melissa: When that person said something, I feel this, you are claiming you are making a claim for yourself and then expressing that experience that you are having with someone else. It's so, so beautiful. But when people are not used to that, Of course they're gonna feel triggered. 'cause it's almost like, okay, hang on.
[00:26:09] Melissa: How do I respond to that? I'm so used to being blamed where I can now react that. Now what do I say? And then your ability, Eda to just hold space to that, to, I'm literally in awe. I'm so. I wanna say surprised by our podcast conversation today, because my expectation was to simply talk about, learn more about you in terms of as a writer.
[00:26:34] Melissa: And we're going deep as we always do, without plan into your personal experience. And I'm so grateful for how open your being about this. I'm bringing your writing into your every day writing this gratitude journal. Folks, if you're listening, this is something you. If you wanna heal, improve, maybe the word heal is not something that resonates with you.
[00:26:55] Melissa: Improve, bring more love into a relationship with a sibling or a family member, starting a gratitude journal. And I'm not gonna guide this conversation so that Eda can share with us a little bit more about. Her writing service, right? Just not just with memoirs, but how that looks and feels, and all the ways that you can get in touch with Eda so that you can have her support not just for writing, but your personal growth through writing with her as your coach or your guide. Tell us a little bit more about your service.
[00:27:29] Eda: So I offer write club to anyone who has a book in their head, but they haven't had the time to write it. Now you can write it with me and with other intentional writers. And the other thing that I do is you can schedule in a one-on-one to have me guide you into the process of visualising your readers, your writing space, and to get your psyched about this book that you're about to realise. You can realise it in less than a year, which is something that I thought was impossible until I did it myself with the guidance of another memoir writer. So I know it works. I've done it myself, and I know that you can do it too.
[00:28:12] Melissa: Oh my God, that's incredible. I've been threatening to do this now for months, maybe more than a year now. Can you tell us a little bit more about the writing prompts?
[00:28:20] Eda: Look, I offer them through my newsletter, which you can sign up to on writepublishgrow.com. So that's write as in write publish grow com, and just sign into the newsletter and every week I send prompts. It so happened this week my prompts were about mothers and they're unfulfilled dreams.
[00:28:39] Melissa: My gosh, this gets better.
[00:28:40] Eda: And the three qualities that they embody that you also see in yourself. So questions like this make you think about where you came from, who you are, and how to be grateful for the people who are around you or who may have passed, but who are with you in your hearts.
[00:28:57] Melissa: Very powerful. So, First step you wanna get in Eda’'s newsletter so that you can receive these prompts. Yeah, start there. Let's start there. Do they do that through writepublishgrow.com as well?
[00:29:08] Eda: Yep. There is a link available on my website. Also on Instagram. You can see my links to write club. It's incredible. Yeah. Well, I look at it, I show up for myself for my writing and for my mental health, and other people are free to join me and then I monetize it a bit.
[00:29:26] Melissa: Okay. You've said mental health. Wow. Yeah. That's something I'm sure many of our listeners haven't thought about when we create space to contemplate and have guided with prompts, that's also self-care. My gosh, Eda. Yeah. I didn't think of that.
[00:29:43] Eda: It's really helped me, like when I get stuff out of my head, when I give myself that time in the day, then when I'm serving my people, my partner, my girls, it's coming from a place of love. Not toxic, otherwise it can be a little bit Oh, not great.
[00:29:59] Melissa: Yeah. 'Cause it serves as a bit of a brain dump, right? You get out of your head some things that maybe are cluttering it or maybe there's tension with some thoughts and to get them out there. Wow. Thank you. The mental health piece is huge, especially now that more people in the world are aware, more self-aware about their mental and emotional health.
[00:30:18] Melissa: Actually, there's one very important question that I haven't asked today that's crucial, which is, What were some of the biggest challenges and risks that you've had to take in order to step away from the condition beliefs you had? About who you are, how you needed to show up in the world, and the jobs or career that you had to do, what kind of, uh, stereotypes in a way and labels did you have to break through in a way in order to lead this beautiful, purposeful, passion filled service-driven life that you now lead?
[00:30:54] Eda: Yeah. I had to leave behind who I thought I was, which I thought I was like this super organised. Somebody who ticks all the boxes and does everything on time and super responsible, not fun. Just one of those people who just makes sure everybody's doing the right thing and supervising and dotting all the T's and putting all the dots on the I's all of that.
[00:31:19] Eda: I had to leave that behind and embrace the fun side of me, and that started in a playground, actually. Playground of dreams. So when I joined you in the Playground of Dreams and discovered my childhood dreams and I could see them so vividly. Then fun really started to come into my life and oh my gosh, I'm just moving forward towards the fun and the bliss, and I'm loving it. It's bringing so many more people that I'm aligned with and I'm doing a lot more meaningful work, and I'm doing more of it, which is what I love.
[00:31:55] Melissa: And I can see it in you. For those of you who are not only listening to the audio podcast. So you wanna get in on the YouTube channel very soon, in the next couple of weeks so that you can see the light and the joy and the passion that is beaming through Eda that I get to see right now.
[00:32:13] Melissa: I am so grateful that you are living the gift. And that you discovered that through Playground of Dreams, which is my group coaching program, which has evolved very much since you've been on it. Eda, I'm gonna invite you in at some point to showcase who you are and share your experience to all future participants as an inspiration and a role model. But aside from that, More importantly, I'd love for you to share with everybody about Live The Gift. What is Live The Gift?
[00:32:42] Eda: Well, I have it here. Well, well, it's actually, it's become my life philosophy. It's a book and Melissa is in it. And all these people around me who have come such a long way and who've taught me so much about myself, they're all in this book. It was such a pleasure writing it. It literally meant, wow, talking to my favorite people and hearing their stories. So what a pleasure. It wrote itself, I can say, and whenever I feel like I'm not living the gift. I just go back into and read a few pages and I'm like, oh, now I see. Now I can get on with living the gift and leadership behind.
[00:33:25] Melissa: And you know what? I'm so deeply honored to have a place in your book, which is also part of your legacy Eda. We are intrinsically and infinitely intertwined. Thank you so much for giving me the honor to be in the book, Live The Gift, and folks, you wanna make sure you get your hands on that copy. In fact, I'm reminded myself today that I need to order a few copies and I'm gonna ask, would you sign them for me?
[00:33:51] Eda: Absolutely. Okay. Absolutely.
[00:33:52] Melissa: Awesome. Thank you so, so much. Could you tell us a little bit more of what people can expect from Live The Gift?
[00:34:00] Eda: All right, so from live the gift, expect to be inspired. I believe we all have a gift, and it's the gift that trips us up in life. It could be your big heart, your curiosity, your big emotions, like I liken the gift, how it manifested in my life to dumbo's big ears.
[00:34:20] Eda: Because I had such big emotions, I was so sensitive, and I was picking up all of these stories around me. I was always getting caught up in other people's drama and tripping up and not able to regulate my emotions. Not realising that that was the gift, my sensitivity was the gift. It's what creates my writing.
[00:34:40] Eda: It's what gives shape to how I see the world, and I didn't realise that. And this book is about other people who've walked a similar path or who have discovered and owned who they are to live their purpose, which is really to be themselves. So if you're ever needing a reason to be yourself, there are 14 reasons and live the gift. It's these stories of people who have taken that step and are living who they are, their gift.
[00:35:06] Melissa: Thank you Eda, for living the gift, not just living. The gift your gifts, but writing about what that looks and feels like, showcasing other people who've inspired you, and then continuing to walk this path to support others through Live The Gift.
[00:35:26] Melissa: You are a guide for transformation through writing and storytelling. Each person's soul's truth. What could be more powerful? Because historically, human connection really begins some storytelling, right? It's sharing our experiences and for all the traumas that we've walked, and trauma exists on a spectrum.
[00:35:46] Melissa: I can't imagine there's one person on this planet who doesn't have some level of trauma. The most powerful way for us to transform that trauma is through sharing the story. So thank you for helping so many people do that. Is there anything else you'd like to leave our listeners with today?
[00:36:04] Eda: Nothing else comes to mind.
[00:36:05] Eda: This has been such a beautiful chat. Thank you so much for the opportunity. It's always such a pleasure to connect with you, Melissa.
[00:36:12] Melissa: I appreciate you so much, Eda. One last question that's come to my mind, of course. How could I not mention this? Mm-hmm. I asked you if you were a song, what song would you be?
[00:36:23] Melissa: I'd love it if you would share with everybody the song you chose. Mm. And I, in a way, I'm like, the title to me seemed obvious, but also it's only obvious 'cause I have had the privilege to spend some really beautiful, intimate time together. So I, I have a sense of who you are, although today I've learned so much about your journey since we've had that time together in Playground of Dreams. So I'll recap again. I asked you if you were one song, what song would it be? Please share with our listeners today what the song is and why.
[00:36:52] Eda: Hold on. The song changes all the time, and I'm just wondering, what did I write? Because right now the one comes to mind because I've been listening to that song every day when I showed up for my writing to remind me that I'm the one writing my life. I'm the one creating it.
[00:37:08] Melissa: Oh, thank you. The one is a song written by me and folks listening to the podcast. It's the opening music and the closing music to the podcast as well. So that's the one that comes. My gosh, my heart is full. Seriously. What is the purpose of writing this music, especially this song, other than for this, it's like, okay, we need to meet more often than just once every six months, first of all.
[00:37:30] Melissa: Thank you so much for letting everybody know and for connecting with that song. When I asked you this a while back, the song you put down, 'cause you just responded. You went, oh, well what is it? It changes. The song was ‘Changes’.
[00:37:43] Eda: It changes by
[00:37:44] Melissa: So I guess you don't need to explain that, right?
[00:37:47] Eda: Definitely. Look, here's what happens with me, right? I go into my day with an intention, and sometimes I plan everything down to the minute, and I make all those like little calculations in my head, but then when I'm talking to the person, their reality is completely different. So I change my tune, and I think you have to. If you don't, then oh my God, you're not gonna get a lot of satisfaction.
[00:38:14] Melissa: Yeah, that agility, right? To be able to, just the nuance of just shifting and tweaking something without being so rigid to your plan, but at the same time, without beating yourself up when you do need to make that tweak is absolute grace and mastery. Eda, thank you so, so much. Thank you for being with us today on the Fearlessly Curious Podcast. My friends listening. Our friends listening, make sure if your curiosity was sparked, which I, I'm pretty damn sure it was. At the very minimum. You wanna connect with Eda on Instagram.
[00:38:50] Melissa: And you will not lose out by signing up to her newsletter because experience it first before you make a decision. This is not for me. I invite you to lean into your curiosity. Sign up, because you can always unsubscribe anytime you like. That's right. Yeah. But get a flavor. Get a taste. Be curious fearlessly, because you never know.
[00:39:10] Melissa: You might be surprised and you might just. Gain an entire new playground to play in and a beautiful community where you are gonna learn through other people's stories, not just about who they are, but more about who you are and also who you are not. Eda, it's been a pleasure. Thank you so, so very much.
[00:39:30] Melissa: Thank you. And until next time, everybody remember to stay fearlessly curious.
[00:39:43] Melissa: If you want more, make sure to subscribe so you never miss a new episode every Friday. And please leave a review. If you enjoy this episode. Don't forget to send me your curious questions and experiences as inspiration for future episodes. Your anonymity will be respected if that's what you prefer. For more guidance and support, join my emotional healing, mindfulness and music community over at melissaindot.com. See you next week.
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