EP.24 - Pursuing Your Passion with Nadira Hamdam
SHOW NOTES:
Starting a business around your passion can be daunting, especially when those around you are urging you to choose a different path.
How do you overcome fear and boldly follow your heart?
Nadira Hamdam, founder of a company dedicated to promoting a sustainable lifestyle through fitness, knows firsthand the challenges of pursuing one's passion against all odds.
Despite facing pressure from her family to pursue a corporate career, Nadira stayed true to herself and persevered through the obstacles that came her way.
Join me and Nadira as we delve into the importance of self-belief, resilience, and calculated risks in the pursuit of your dreams.
This inspiring conversation is not just for entrepreneurs, but for anyone looking for valuable insights and lessons to apply to their own life journey.
Here are the key takeaways from this episode:
06:12 - Learn to embrace the process.
08:40 - Everything you do has a direct impact to the earth.
13:33 - The only way to forge your own path is to be curious and ask what is or isn’t working right now.
15:25 - You are never too small or too insignificant, everyone matters.
21:34 - Break free from your self-limiting stereotypes.
31:43 - We're not one-dimensional beings.
32:46 - You are a work in progress, you will always evolve.
42:08 - The best way to navigate the future is to create it.
ABOUT OUR GUEST
Nadira Hamdam is a personal trainer, health coach, and co-founder of the sustĀinable activewear brand, Āina Collective.
After realising that her passion lay in helping others live healthier, happier lives, Nadira left her stable job as a management consultant at Ernst & Young to pursue a career in the health and wellness industry.
She obtained her personal training certification from the National Academy of Sports Medicine in 2019 and has been teaching at one of the top boutique gyms in Kuala Lumpur ever since.
Nadira is also a strong advocate for sustainability and follows a plant-based diet in support of the planet.
Connect with Nadira through her Instagram page @nsnadira_ or her LinkedIn account and learn more about what she does on her website a-collectiveclub.com
LISTEN HERE
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About Me:
I help you lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.
TRANSCRIPT
[00:00:00]
Nadira: Who I was in school, in uni, in EY, is completely different to who I am right now. So you are always a work in progress and like you shouldn't know who you wanna be at eight years old. You make decisions, you make life choices, you find yourself based on the experience of the people that you encounter. So that’s gonna change every single day and you're always gonna evolve into something. I guess at the endpoint is, if we do have an endpoint, is your truest self.
[00:00:35]
Melissa: Hey there. Welcome to the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, your safe space. Listen, lean in and learn the diversity of human experiences through the lens of fearless curiosity. When we learn more about each other, we also learn more about ourselves. How? Because when we listen to each other's curiosities and experiences, we relate to that which is in common, and that which sets us apart, gives us something to reflect on. We learn through and with each other. I'm grateful to you, the global community, for your curious questions. The Fearlessly Curious Podcast cannot exist without you.
[00:01:25]
Melissa: Well, hello everybody, and another episode of the Fearlessly Curious Podcast, and I'm hyped because I've got a very good friend. Nadira here with us today, and Nadira is going to talk to us, share with us her personal story of fearless authenticity, of really leading life her way in order not just to pursue, but to realise her purpose through Āina Collective dancing to the beat of her own drum about living her life her way. So Nadira, thank you for joining us today. I’m super excited to have you. I know Āina right now and this time that we are recording is still very new. So it's uh, roller coaster ride. I imagine.
[00:02:06]
Melissa: So tell the listeners, cause I could tell them, but it's much better if it comes from you. Tell us a little bit about why you decided to run with Āina Collective and then, what is Āina Collective?
[00:02:21]
Nadira: Okay. Thank you for having Melissa. I am a fitness instructor full-time, so I do my own PTs, personal training, and I am at a gym called Club Aloha.
[00:02:30]
Nadira: So yeah, fast forward over the four years I've been doing this as my full-time job, obviously activewear. So sports bras, leggings, and stuff like that. And I also am very passionate about preserving the earth. I eat a plant-based diet because of our mother earth. So piece that together. Over the last year or two years or so, I've been looking for sustĀinable brands that I can support because I saw a huge problem in the fast fashion giant, like, I dunno if I'm supposed to say brands, but like, yeah, Lululemon.
[00:03:11]
Melissa: Can you tell us a little bit first about fast fashion? Could you break that down a little bit?
[00:03:23]
Nadira: Fast fashion is basically brands or companies that have all the resources in the world and they have huge factories. I mean, pretty straightforward supply chain, but huge names in the industry. And because they're so big, they somewhat manipulate their resources into making garments every day, every minute. So whether or not they pay their workers, we don't know, whether or not they pay their rent, we don't know. Because they have scaled and are huge, they get to save a lot of costs and really utilise very limited resources that they have. And then, yeah, the term fast fashion is because you see new designs, new clothes, new lines coming out every single day from this brand.
[00:04:00]
Melissa: Right. So the turnaround is immense.
[00:04:01]
Nadira: Yes. It's a high production. And the amount of water they use is ridiculous.
[00:04:06]
Melissa: Right? Yes. Okay. So not mindful about the consumption of resources that is input into the production of these products.
[00:04:15]
Nadira: Yes. Yeah. Not mindful, not conscious. It’s basically all about making the money and selling. So because of the fast fashion point of view, I couldn't support the brands that I used to support, but I needed clothes to wear to work, you know? So I've been buying from the UK because I used to live in the UK so I've been buying from a couple of sustĀinable brands in the UK and I was really inspired by how honest they are in their brands. Every step of the supply chain and where everything comes from and why they price it so high, why they price it so low, all their struggles. So I think as a consumer, I buy and do that. So one fine day, me and my partner, my co-founder now of Āina Collective, we were just crushing ourselves, like, why are we paying so much on shipping from the UK, from the US, from Australia? Why not make it our own? Mm-hmm. and yeah, that conversation or the idea came about when we were eating our annual Christmas lunch. So my belly's, happy tummy, happy heart. We're like, okay, let's do this.
[00:05:19]
Melissa: So it felt good. It felt right. It wasn't just a fleeting idea.
[00:05:22]
Nadira: Yes. And also she's my best friend. Like we've known each other since we were 12 and we were swimmers, so we were competitive swimmers together, and we managed to stay in touch where we were in the world a couple years back. So that's how Āina Collective was born. We wanted to make something truly ethical, honest, sustĀinable, and hopefully fully local. Not yet at the moment, because our factory is in Indonesia. But yeah, so that's the idea of Āina Collective.
[00:05:55]
Melissa: Okay. And how has the journey been so far in creating it, getting it out on the market? What kind of challenges have you faced and how have you overcome them? Or are you in the process of overcoming them?
[00:06:06]
Nadira: I think we are still in the process of overcoming it. Actually not even, I think we had this conversation beforehand. It's just that it is difficult. It has been difficult, but at the same time, I think I need to learn to embrace the process. I love that, fortunately for me, in my 28 years of living, a lot of things have been handed easily to me, or I'm just privileged enough to like, you know, have things come to me. But this is the first time that I kind of exhausted my whole life savings into something that I truly, truly care about and truly, truly believe in, and not having it realised as fast as I want it to be and as I want it to. Well, I say fast in my timeline. Bear in mind, we just launched last August.
[00:06:55]
Nadira: Last August, 2022. So it is fairly new, but yeah, it has been challenging in the sense that we were selling so quickly in the first three months I say, because friends and family believe in our story and blah, blah, blah, blah. But I think we've touched all our friends and family. Now the challenge is to touch the masses, right?
[00:07:16]
Nadira: And that's our challenge right now. I think Malaysians, I think a lot of us are not aware yet about what our clothes, you know, or how our clothes affect the environment and so on and so forth.
[00:07:29]
Melissa: And is this part of your process, therefore, which is to educate the, your potential community, I'm gonna call 'em community rather than customers, right? Who are just there to buy. You are not just making a product. You are creating a more conscious community who are thoughtful about the clothes they wear. And I'm guessing that part of that process is to educate those who don't know.
[00:07:51]
Nadira: Yes. Actually that's our vision to inspire individuals to create more sustĀinable practices in their life. Be it buying stuff or recycling or anything of that. So it is an educational platform rather than me selling you activewear. So we have huge plans like you know, podcasts or workshops or anything along the lines in the name of education and yes. I forgot what the original question was.
[00:08:19]
Melissa: Don't worry, don't worry. We're just having a chat and I can't even remember the original question.
[00:08:24]
Nadira: So yeah, I mean, it is trying to educate our community, Malaysians, and of course later on, global citizens to just be more conscious individuals and to know what you are actually wearing, what you're actually eating, and what you're, everything that you do every day makes a direct impact to the earth, whether they realise it or not.
[00:08:45]
Melissa: That's so true. We can never be reminded enough. That definitely resonates with me. I'm not aware. I forget that I matter. Like every thought I have is going to influence the words I speak, the action that I'm gonna take, and the words I speak is going to impact somebody and it's gonna influence them, and the action that I take is going to impact the world.
[00:09:06]
Melissa: But we think, oh, I'm one of - what's the population of the earth now? 8 billion. I have no idea. Right. I'm one of 8 billion people. What difference does it make? And the thing is, if every single one of us 8 billion people think that they don't make a difference. Then of course, 8 billion people are not going to make a difference to the world cuz everybody's just gonna be living in their own silos.
[00:09:26]
Melissa: But if we start to propagate this, this knowing, it's not even a belief. It's a truth that each one of us does matter. Every choice that we make creates an impact. That's 8 billion people being more aware. So thank you for being part of that community that's propagating a new way of not just thinking but being and living.
[00:09:48]
Melissa: And you mentioned something earlier that really got my attention cause you really own the fact you said, I come from a privileged background and I admire that. I admire someone who can wholly own their privilege. Right. And through doing that, understand their own level of what adversity is because we also live in a world where we're constantly comparing ourselves with each other.
[00:10:11]
Melissa: And for those of us who have been born into a more privileged background, I am also similar to you. Right. In a way, there's a lot of shaming around that and often we deny ourselves the reality of having experienced any trouble. Cuz we're like, oh, well how can we be struggling? You know? There's people who are worse off than us.
[00:10:30]
Melissa: So even though we compare ourselves with people who don't have the privilege, that doesn't mean we deny our own struggles. Yeah. And that's hardly fair. Yes. So I love that not only did you claim that, right, but you also talked to us about fast fashion and the resources and how resources have just been thrown, left, right, and centre.
[00:10:48]
Melissa: And I was drawing a line between what you shared as being privileged and how your personal journey now, standing on your own hasn't been as fast as you had expected it. And in a way, I believe that you are truly embodying this whole concept of not living fast. Slowing down, being more mindful of your resources, because now those resources have a different value to you.
[00:11:14]
Melissa: How would you, I mean, I'm sort of just projecting onto you what I thought, but I just, had you ever thought about that, that this whole concept of standing on your own has caused you to embody the very thing that your brand is championing?
[00:11:27]
Nadira: No, but thank you for noticing that. Actually, no. Now it really makes sense.
[00:11:32]
Nadira: I mean, I don't, not makes sense, but maybe it does have a connection because just earlier I was completing saying, Oh, it's like 2033. It's like a slow start and she's like, what the hell? It's like, it's only January, babe, you know? But yeah, I think I'm just so used to it, again, I always am. Say that I come from a place of privilege because I understand a lot of people don't even have the choice to buy sustĀinable, you know, they just need a t-shirt from Cotton On and that's fine.
[00:12:05]
Nadira: Like, you know, everyone is at different places. But at the same time, what I'm not okay with is when you have the resources, you have the choice, and you still make that, might I say a wrong choice, but yeah, like because of now. Broken away from what my parents wanted me to do. I didn't mention this, but I used to come from a corporate job, so it is somewhat slowing me down and telling me to be patient cuz yeah, sales are not coming in like this month, like it wasn't coming in last month.
[00:12:34]
Nadira: A little bit slow, maybe two or three pieces, but it challenges me. Challenges me in different ways. What can I do? What sort of education can I give? Maybe my Instagram is too boring, my reels are too boring. I need to do something else. But yeah, it does actually embody that. Āina is not at all fast. It's trusting the process. It's being conscious, looking around and taking every day as it goes.
[00:12:58]
Melissa: I love that as much as it’s perceived as being difficult because again, comparison, we look at other, other businesses, right? Yeah. But we forget that other businesses have gone through their own struggles, which the rest of the world don't get to see.
[00:13:14]
Melissa: They, you know, you are sharing with us the behind the scenes struggles, and I appreciate you being very transparent with us because this is what curiosity is all about, what you just mentioned, you know, slowing down and asking, could I do this differently? Could I do that differently? And so you, within the Āina Collective, are carving your own way.
[00:13:33]
Melissa: You are forging your own path. And the only way to forge your own path is to be curious and to ask what is working right now and what isn't working right now. And if ever possible, I would say try and bring some play into it. Of course, money is involved and that can be stressful. Yeah, right. But I think in terms of community, I imagine that you have quite a lot of support because, well, first of all, I know the sort of person that you are, and you yourself are very giving, very caring, very thoughtful of others.
[00:14:00]
Melissa: What sort of collaborative events or endeavours are you looking to do in the future?
[00:14:07]
Nadira: So we have a couple already planned for this year starting with the collaboration with Club Aloha. They are helping us stock our pieces in their gym. They are helping us expand to their kind of community and different eyeballs and people who don't really shop online.
[00:14:25]
Nadira: And then we are planning a beach or city cleanup. So we don't know yet which one because we're waiting for the council permission, but we are also collaborating with a local hero called Trash Cycle. And they are amazing. They run as a recycling company where they pick up stuff from your homes. But again, just giving back to the community is really empowering.
[00:14:47]
Nadira: Again, we are a women-owned business. I wanna support not just women, I wanna support everybody, but especially women and especially local businesses. They are like struggling, competing with the giants and just getting the community involved because I think people just wanna be involved. People just wanna feel that they matter and they are, you know, a part of something.
[00:15:11]
Nadira: And like you said, if there is one Nadira. And Nadira can actually get 10 Nadiras to clean up some trash. This is already a cleaner Nadira land. So you know, you are never too small, you're never too insignificant. Everyone matters.
[00:15:30]
Melissa: Everyone can make a difference. Yes. Yeah. And it really, the change actually starts with you.
[00:15:33]
Melissa: Right. We're all like waiting for somebody else to do it. Some people may argue like not everybody's born a leader. I would challenge that. And I don't think it's a good thing to go out and say to people that not everyone is born a leader. In fact, I'd like to encourage everybody listening to know that we're all leaders.
[00:15:51]
Melissa: And we're leaders of our own lives. And the thing is, if you have the idea to do something and you're thinking, oh, no one else is doing it yet, I'll wait for somebody else. Ah, it's so important for you to know, just like with Nadira and her co-founder when they had this idea, I mean, I could say to you, no, dear, there's probably thousands of other sustĀinable brands out there, right?
[00:16:12]
Melissa: Yeah. But the thing is, there's only one of you, Nadira and there's only one of your co-founder. So you put out your version of it, it's going to be unique. And the minute that you have that idea, that idea is with you for a purpose. It's for you to take action at some level, right? At some level. So kudos to you for biting the bullet, you know, investing in your dream to build this collective that is more than just selling a product.
[00:16:33]
Melissa: Yeah. Right. It's about influencing change. I'm curious to know, as a fellow, Southeast Asian woman, right? Let's face it, we do live in a world that is still dominated by men. And in as much as I don't necessarily believe in the glass ceiling, I believe that women, we have to take our own responsibility for being successful, for being upfront about what we do and what we believe in, and most importantly about supporting other women run businesses.
[00:17:03]
Melissa: I don't like to be in that victim mentality of how systems and the, and history has set women up to fail. Yes, that is true. But instead of hopping on about that, what can we do to move forward? And I think part of moving forward is having people like you share your stories, right?
[00:17:19]
Melissa: Share your stories of adversity and share your stories of success. So as a Southeast Asian woman in this business, what sort of stereotypes did you disrupt?
[00:17:28]
Nadira: I think first of all there's already like, I dunno, Malaysians at least everyone's like, oh, yet another women business or girl boss or stuff like that.
[00:17:38]
Nadira: But I don't even believe in saying like, women are better or whatever. No one's better, you know, we're all humans. And this is why I like explaining the brand, explaining not just this company like my own self, my other fitness job, to really take the time to explain and make people aware of where you're at and your struggles so that they can become more empathetic.
[00:18:02]
Nadira: Especially men, because the idea is to collaborate, right? Not telling, you can't do this, I can't do this, or I can do this, you can't do that. It's more of let's work together, let's find a solution. So the struggles that we face as we've been running a business. Not just in Āina, just like my day-to-day life.
[00:18:22]
Nadira: First, you're too emotional. Too emotional. Like girls always like to put emotions in, like always wanna cry in front of the camera. I'm not purposely crying in front of the camera. I'm just, you know,. Social media is there. It's a tool now. Okay. Like we used to not have it so people don't know if anyone's crying.
[00:18:40]
Nadira: But now we do have it. And then also there's another camp which thinks everyone on Instagram lives a perfect life, you know? But this is why we try to be more transparent. Like, oh, if we feel like something's bothering us, we share and we cry, and stuff like that. So it's not telling people that I'm emotional, I'm weak or whatever.
[00:18:58]
Nadira: It's more like, I'm human, you know? I don't know many boys that would cry, honestly, in front of the camera because they're too much over that. So we're not too emotional. We're just. We're humans, we're trying to be human. We're trying to, you know, play with our strengths, which is to feel, and again, like I don't get angry when people say, you're too emotional.
[00:19:21]
Nadira: I, I try to reason with them. Like, why, why are you saying this? Like, why do you think this is it? What other struggles? I don't know. I think I can't see the struggles yet more specifically to Āina because we have been supported by so many women. I think as opposed to your question, we got so much support, not just from family and friends who already know us or already know our story, what we were doing, but other businesses, like I can highlight now like my friend from Zen Bucha, like they've been trying to like ask if I need any help in stocks or whatever..
[00:19:54]
Nadira: And then people from Dia Guild, they are obviously, it's a two year old brand, very established, good platform. Everyone has asked if I needed anything with Shopify, if I needed a tech person to fix our bugs. I haven't really, if you say struggle, struggle, I haven't really faced that in our seven months of running.
[00:20:18]
Nadira: So hopefully it stays this way. Yeah, I think we do have struggles in other kinds of facets of business, but not really in the, in terms of support of like, or people being not approving of like women entrepreneurs. Yeah. Not yet, at least.
[00:20:36]
Melissa: Well that's really good to hear. That's very positive. That's very encouraging. I'm happy to hear that. Yeah. What about in terms of societal dynamics? I'll say, because I know as an Asian woman who branched out first to be a musician, and basically I branched out. Which meant I kind of just left my family, you know, as Asian, Southeast Asian. So at least in Malaysia, you don't leave the house.
[00:20:58]
Melissa: You don't move out until you're basically getting married. And that's assuming that you are heteronormative. Forget about if you're not heteronormative, right. But you get married and a lot of the time you get married and you also still stay at home even when you're married. And by the way, I'm not judging this, I'm just saying that's often what the culture is.
[00:21:15]
Melissa: I imagine for you it's slightly different. So I know you managed, you were in a corporate, you were in a corporate, uh, job. OSo what sort of stereotypes on that level have you moved through? And if you're open to sharing, cause I know it will inspire other young women out there to break free.
[00:21:34]
Melissa: Not break away, but break free from their own self-limiting stereotypes because other people can put stereotypes on us. We still have a choice whether or not we want to comply with those stereotypes. Right. So I'm gonna be quiet so that we can listen to you
[00:21:48]
Nadira: Oh yeah. This is like a whole life story. I'm Malay, fully Malay living with my family. And I wouldn't say the worst, but the most intense are from Kelantan and we are Kelantanese.
[00:22:06]
Nadira: Yes. I love my family and I am a family person. Like I would not function without my family and that's why it's that much more of a struggle to break away because I care so much about what they think of me.
[00:22:20]
Nadira: Just my immediate family, not even my extended family. So yeah, so I did a very conventional job, went to the UK, did three years of accounting and finance. I did it because I was very good at numbers, but I never really thought I was passionate about it. I just did it cuz I was good.
[00:22:35]
Melissa: Sorry, sorry, one minute. Yeah. Did you say accounting and finance?
[00:22:38]
Melissa: Yeah, that was my degree. I'm just gonna for most of it, I didn't know that. For those of you watching the video podcast, which by the way, those of you listening to the audio, the video comes out a few weeks later, so make sure you've got a YouTube and hit subscribe. I'm just gonna lean over and give Nadira a fist bump, finance and accounting, cuz I dunno whether you guys know what I'm listening, but I was 10 years as a management accountant.
[00:23:03]
Nadira: Oh wow. I didn't know this.
[00:23:05]
Melissa: There you go. We had to do the podcast in order for you to discover this and let me just say, it was soul-destroying. Now back to you.
[00:23:12]
Nadira: Oh, by the way, management accounting was my favourite out of the lot.
[00:23:16]
Nadira: Financial reporting, financial accountant, whatever. It's like too much. But anyway, that's how I kind of found my purpose, my fashion, when I was in the UK. So come third year, I was already graduating. I didn't do so well because I wasn't into it anymore, I just wanted to finish it. And when I graduated, when I came home and told my mom like, yeah, my life story evolved a lot. So bear with me. Yeah. To fill out my life, cuz I love people, I became a barista. So that's how I found out that I actually really, truly love engaging with people. I love conversations. I love connections. Even when it's not paying me that much, I just, it just gives me life. Rather than just go to uni every day. And I had great money. So that's how I found my love for people. It really just strengthened my people skills and just really confirmed the fact that I am a people person. I can go on and on and on and on and on and talk like even a random guy on the streets.
[00:24:21]
Nadira: So I came home and told my mom, okay, maybe I'll just like, you know, hang around first and open my own cafe when I have the money, but maybe now I'll just work in a cafe first. Obviously they were like, What the hell? We put you through uni for this. We spend X amount and you come back and. It sounds so much worse in Malay.
[00:24:47]
Melissa: Which by the way, could you translate that to English cuz 50% of our listeners, by the way, are outside of Asia.
[00:24:52]
Nadira: Oh, sorry guys. Yeah, no, that's good. So that means, you wanna come back and just work at a coffee shop? People in Amsterdam, not that coffee shop, cafe I mean. But yeah, so that's what they said to me.
[00:25:08]
Nadira: So I, so it was brawl, like it was just a lot of conflict, a lot of like fighting because the India, India minds, it was, you wasted your three years doing accounting and finance and coming home, wanting to work in a cafe, but I never looked at it that way. I just thought that if I didn't go there, I wouldn't have found my passion or my, you know, what truly drives me, which is connections and people.
[00:25:35]
Nadira: And you know, I wouldn't have worked in a cafe if I was just here in Malaysia, I don't think, no, nothing would push me to work in a cafe. I worked in a cafe cuz I needed this extra money. So anyway, obviously it was a no no. So me being me, I needed to find a middle ground. I would always try something until I can prove to them or I prove to someone that I'm just truly unhappy.
[00:26:00]
Nadira: Lucky me, I did an internship in EY, Ernst and Young beforehand in my first year or something. So I was already offered a job, so I was secured in a job and I chose the last possible date to start. So I came out in September because my visa expired, so I couldn't extend it anymore. And then the last possible date, I still remember it was the fourth of December.
[00:26:24]
Nadira: Came home, went to Australia to find myself. And hopefully, secretly hoping that my parents would change their minds, but obviously they didn't. I came home, and why would they? I know, right? It's like I spend thousands of ringgit to send you to uni and then you come back wanting to work in a cafe that pays 5 ringgit an hour.
[00:26:44]
Nadira: No, hell no. So I came home and then I was like, fine, I'll do EY whatever. I'll try to make it work. Because this is how I am and again, I would never, ever make my parents unhappy with me cuz I'm Muslim. In Islam, do we truly believe in blessings from your parents? If not, I wouldn't really get to where I am and I still believe that in some sort of way.
[00:27:07]
Nadira: Anyway, because it's like now that I'm 28, along those lines. Some are true, some are not really that true anymore. But anyway, I went to EY. Oh my God. Obviously, no surprise, I absolutely hated it. I had a terrible manager.
[00:27:26]
Melissa: Oh, let's, let's hope the manager's listening. Yeah. But for the record, right? We're not dissing EY. This is just for the, for framing. For people listening, this is Nadira's personal life experience. Okay. Yes. Because I don't want to get anything misconstrued.
[00:27:38]
Nadira: I really wanna say, after listening to my life story, don't think about quitting a job. Don't think about never joining the big four because I think it's great.
[00:27:48]
Nadira: It's just not for me. And I really think everyone's experiences are different. Everyone's life experiences are different and you might have a different experience. To me, I just had a terrible experience. And not so much the people. I said it to Melissa, like, I'm someone who likes to be challenged and I didn't enjoy sitting on a desk every day making slides.
[00:28:09]
Nadira: Yeah. I did a lot of heck loads of PowerPoint slides. I'm really good at it. I'm still good at it.
[00:28:18]
Melissa: I bet you still use that skill.
[00:28:20]
Nadira: Yes. At some point. That's how, yeah. I'll fast forward to it later, but yeah, again, I hated it. So I was in management consulting, by the way. So in the advisory, um, well almost two years.
[00:28:29]
Nadira: And then I kind of like, I can't anymore.
[00:28:31]
Melissa: Two years. That's, yeah. You really gave it a good commitment. Yeah. Two years.
[00:28:36]
Nadira: Yeah, because that's how I am. I adapt. And then like the first year I cried every day. Too emotional, right? Oh my gosh, I feel too much. And then the second year I'm like, well, no one's gonna care that I'm crying. So I made it work in the second year, I was a little bit happier cuz I had really good colleagues. I was in another project that I sort of enjoyed much more than the previous one. And then I started doing things that would normally make me happy. The first year I was dwelling in my tears. I did not exercise.
[00:29:07]
Nadira: I had no time. I was out at 7:30 in the morning back by 9:00 PM so I had like no time. I was working on a - I dunno if I'm supposed to say that, but it's like a big merger. I'm not gonna say who or what. So it was intense as a first job as an associate, it was intense.
[00:29:27]
Nadira: So I did not have time and I was not sure what I was doing and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then second year I was better. Because I started incorporating exercise because that's just truly what makes me happy. Right? And then I was just like, why did I abandon it? So I'm gonna make time for it.
[00:29:43]
Nadira: Nothing changed in my work life, but I woke up earlier, so I woke up 5:30 in the morning. I live in Shah Alam at this point. I still remember going to F45 every morning. I was there by 6:30 in the morning. Done by 7:30, off to work. That was my day to day and I felt better, but I was sleepy.
[00:30:01]
Nadira: Very, very sleepy. And then, I dunno, something ticked in me to get certified, like in PT and more to learn about my body, what works for me, because I was gaining a lot of weight despite going to F45, like every single day, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I did it. I took a leave. I still remember I took on a Friday, my boss was like, where are you?
[00:30:22]
Nadira: I'm like, oh. Personal engagements, but actually I was in CPT training. Yeah, I got myself certified and, and then I was kind of in this limbo of evaluating my life, just like what I wanted to do. And at this point I was also studying. I dunno if you tried my granola, Melissa, but I also sell once upon a time some granola.
[00:30:42]
Nadira: I still sell granola, but that is on the back burner now. But I like to bake. Okay. And I started this baking thing. I eat a plant-based diet and I can't find desserts anywhere that are plant based. So I started my own again. I love to take matters into my own hands. Yeah, so I just started baking.
[00:31:00]
Nadira: I started selling to my colleagues and like started my Instagram, blah, blah blah. So it kind of went quite well. So I was like, my plan at that point was to quit my job, do something along the lines of fitness, but I had no idea what, but pursue my baking because there was a huge gap in like plant-based desserts.
[00:31:18]
Melissa: So I can just pause there for just one second. Cause I really wanna highlight this, right? This is Nadira sharing how she embodies self-leadership. So she needs something, she can't find it anywhere. So she's like, okay, I'll do it. And so she makes it. And then she shares it to the community, and yet an energetic exchange, which we call money by the way.
[00:31:39]
Melissa: And then something else shows up and she does something else. So you see, we're not one-dimensional beings. We can do many, many things and we can also do things for as long as they serve us. And I, I wanna make that statement because I do believe that we live in a world that says, from the day that we're eight years old, even, or maybe transitioning secondary school, you need to know who you wanna be because your trajectory of your life is gonna be defined from now on.
[00:32:03]
Melissa: I call major BS on that. That system needs freaking change. It is the cause of toxic health, toxic mindset, and it's terrible for our wellbeing. What we need is a more supportive mindset and a community that supports our curiosity in our creativity in trying different things. Exploring them.
[00:32:25]
Melissa: Taking them as far as we need and we can, and not beating ourselves up if it doesn't work. We decided we don't wanna do it anymore. So thank you for embodying that and modelling that to people.
[00:32:37]
Nadira: No problem. No, I really wanna add to that. Who I was in school, in uni, in EY, is completely different to who I am right now. So you are always a work in progress and like you shouldn't know who you wanna be at eight years old. You make decisions, you make life choices, you find yourself based on the experience of the people that you encounter. So that’s gonna change every single day and you're always gonna evolve into something. I guess at the endpoint is, if we do have an endpoint, is your truest self.
[00:33:04]
Nadira: And actually. And what helped me find this, like my, what do you call it? Uh, that's a, that's a term for it. Your God self. Oh yes. So yes, science's term God self. And I always envision this God self of me being the best version of myself.
[00:33:28]
Nadira: And I always have that. And every day, month or week is a different God self. So see, even that God self can change. What more do you do every day? You know? But anyway, going back, so that's my career life story. So I was baking, I was a management consultant. So I left management consulting, quit in August 2019 because I was there for about two years.
[00:33:53]
Nadira: Yes. And then, I quit to start my own, say, baking business. Right? And then actually opportunities come, weird opportunities come that you don't even realise. My friend, my good friend Marissa came to me and said, dude, I am a partner of this company and we need an operations manager to run the show. I'm like, well, I have no experience in operations, but okay, I'll do it because I have a passion for food, right? Like healthy food. So I joined her. I was with her till 2021.
[00:34:30]
Melissa: And by the way, the Marissa that Nadira is talking about is gonna be on the podcast sometime soon. So if you're not subscribed to the podcast, can you get on it? Anyway, back to you Nadira.
[00:34:39]
Nadira: Yeah. Because we're all like great women, you know? We all hang out together, you know. But anyway, so yeah, I guess where I'm coming from, is really just embracing the opportunities that come and, oh yeah.
[00:34:51]
Nadira: I wanted to really mention how I reasoned with my parents when I quit my job. Yeah, because it was, cuz this is the original question. See, I'm mumbling away. My parents obviously weren't happy and they already knew I wasn't happy, but my mom was coming from a point of view like, oh, it's only your first job.
[00:35:09]
Nadira: Like, no one gets it right at the, you know, from the get-go and, you know, look at your dad. To get to where he is right now, he had to push through. And I came back with, I understand if I were to pursue management consulting and I wanna be a consultant in that field, in financial services, yes I would push through, I would work how many hours every hour in the day.
[00:35:32]
Nadira: But I think I'm one of the lucky few to have found my passion and I'm so grateful for that. I think I would much rather this path than to be in a job just to pay bills and not knowing what truly lights my life on fire, if you know, in that sense. And I know a lot of people are in that boat right now, and I just wish nothing but the best for them to find something that they truly enjoy.
[00:35:57]
Nadira: But yeah, so that's how I kind of talked to my parents. I said, if I were to be stuck in this, oh, I also, you know, I, I play mind games sometimes, so I'm like, I was looking from the angle of there are thousands of individuals who would want my job. I feel it's unfair to be in that job when I don't like it.
[00:36:16]
Nadira: Half-assing it every single day. My teammates work so hard and I was just there like, getting, you know, getting my hours filled. And then, you know, going on Shopee, sometimes going on Zalora to like, you know, fill up my time. Yeah. So it just didn't sit right for me. I'm very honest and I'm honest with myself and it didn't sit right and my mom is more emotional. Again, women, more emotional, more like, oh my God, you need to do things this way.
[00:36:45]
Nadira: Thankfully for me, even with his weird ways, he, my dad, is my biggest cheerleader. So he was asking me to try the job, but he actually did say before I started, he said, you try it for yourself and see, come back after you've tried it and tell me how you feel. And that's why I went into it anyway, despite knowing I didn’t like it.
[00:37:06]
Nadira: So I went back to him, I said, in Malay we call it “niat”, but like in English it's the intention. So I knew my intention wasn't there. I'm half-assing it. When I go there, nothing is right. And, that's why I told my dad, it's not right for me, for other people, for my teammates. And I knew I had to like, take myself out of the situation.
[00:37:31]
Nadira: And also at this point I was kind of losing myself in the sense where I'm not hanging out with my friends. I just work and then work out and not having enough sleep and just kind of like pushing through. And what took me to kind of really quit is, I was 23 and I didn't wanna live life. Yeah. This was so emotional for me.
[00:37:52]
Nadira: I think realising that I was working Monday to Friday, only to wait for the weekend, only to have Sunday come and be depressed again that I have to go to work again on Monday. Oh wow. That's so heavy. For a 23 year old, it's like, yes, when is this gonna end? So that's why I quit my job and went to my dad to explain everything and he was surprisingly understanding, but obviously with most Asian parents, Southeast Asian parents, they wanna plan.
[00:38:18]
Nadira: So I was like, oh, I was just making up my shitty plan. I'm gonna start my business, I'm gonna sell granola, and then if it doesn't work for three months, I'm gonna find another job. And they're like, cool. Okay, do you have savings? I'm like, yes. Enough to last me three months. And then suddenly again, I think stars are aligned.
[00:38:34]
Nadira: Marissa came the month after and I was already in a job the month after. So I was already in a paycheck again, obviously not as much as EY. But I was doing something I love, something I was really enjoying with my friend, my good friend Marissa. So again, I think, don't be afraid to kinda speak up to your parents.
[00:38:57]
Nadira: For me, I think I speak for the majority of Malay families because I really take care of their feelings. Like I really care about what, what people think. I think most of my friends would have just left and done something else and probably moved out the country. But I didn't. Yeah.
[00:39:16]
Nadira: But for me it's like I always had, I needed their love and blessings and I, I think I would never succeed if I didn't have like 10% of their approval. So that's why I needed to tell them how I was feeling and I think it was the right place, right time that they were also suddenly understanding and yeah, I just went off and did my own thing.
[00:39:37]
Nadira: And as Asian parents, once I started earning a paycheck again, they're like, oh, we can breathe now. You're not eating sand .
[00:39:46]
Melissa: You're not eating sand like you were when you were in the sandbox as a two year old. But yeah.
[00:39:50]
Nadira: Sorry that was a long answer.
[00:39:52]
Melissa: No, it's, please don't apologise. You know, you have 28 years of being alive, and you're not here on the podcast just to, and also, we're not here to deliver a message that's all about hacking life.
[00:40:04]
Melissa: We're here about to be curious about you, to be curious on your life and the experiences that you've had so that we can learn from you, but also we can learn through you because I know there are many listeners out there who, whom your story will sound possibly familiar to, but also your story will encourage and inspire them to take the action, to have that conversation that maybe they've been putting off for a while.
[00:40:28]
Melissa: So it's really important that you share that story, and thank you for doing that.
[00:40:30]
Nadira: No problem. I think also I need to add, especially Asian parents, we think they're just so hard, but at the end of the day, they are also humans. They have feelings.
[00:40:43]
Melissa: They do? Sometimes. It's hard to imagine that our parents have feelings when we feel they are constraining us.
[00:40:47]
Nadira: They're like adults. We think that they know best and like, I dunno, like they know best or they have like, you know, they are always right. They might not always be right, that's why you need to challenge them and, uh, have this a bit like more difficult conversations. But I think ultimately if you explain that, you're losing yourself.
[00:41:04]
Nadira: They want the best for their children. So if you are really losing yourself like I was because I was, I'm a very happy-go-lucky person. I've always been exuberant since the day I was born, I'm like, you know, in the family. So when one year straight I was crying, something was wrong, definitely was wrong. And then I think the weight gain showed and like, you know, just the snappiness or, I didn't say that like I was really snappy with my parents and I never used to be, and I never am because they are like, like my everything.
[00:41:34]
Nadira: Um, so yeah, you, they can notice those patterns and I think when they force them, you force them into the conversation, they will start to talk about it. I hope so.
[00:41:43]
Melissa: Yeah, thank you for that vote of confidence for the listeners. And I definitely would agree with that. In fact, you know, at the end of the day, our parents are doing the best that they can. Right?
[00:41:51]
Melissa: And when they're charting out our futures, their children, they're charting out our future based on their experiences. Yes. And it's easy for them to forget that we're a different generation. So we don't know what the future holds and neither do they. And honestly speaking, the best way to navigate the future is to create it.
[00:42:12]
Melissa: And that doesn't mean having a plan that you stick to. It means that honestly, checking in on each moment how you're feeling. I mean, yes, have a plan, have an idea where you wanna go. But if next week I don't wanna go there anymore, be curious about why. Of course, I'm not encouraging people to just chop and change every five seconds.
[00:42:32]
Melissa: But don't be afraid to ask yourself, okay, what is it about this path that is no longer aligned? Maybe you need to do something differently, maybe it's not about changing the path entirely, but being curious and giving yourself the permission to ask more questions, to lean in for more support and lean into the people that you care about. Like your parents.
[00:42:51]
Melissa: To educate them rather than, and it's very common for Southeast Asian kids to be compliant and maybe do something. Live a double life, which is exhausting and also not good for your mental health or emotional wellbeing. It's about facing them because when you face them, you are also facing yourself and you are gaining some skills that you're gonna take out in the world.
[00:43:15]
Melissa: Yeah, so. Nadira it has been amazing having you here, sharing all this wisdom, sharing the multitude and the eclectic life you've already lived, and you're only 28. All the best with Āina Collective. And everybody who's listening to the podcast, if you head over to the website, you'll be able to get all the links to connect with Nadira as well as with Āina Collective so that you can stay up to date.
[00:43:40]
Melissa: Maybe you can learn a bit more about what the community building is all about behind Āina Collective and the educational events and workshops and gatherings that they've got planned for the year and beyond. Thank you again. Any sort of parting words you'd like to leave with our listeners today?
[00:43:59]
Nadira: So first is the very famous quote by Mahatma Gandhi, be the change that you wanna see in the world. It's so cliche, but it's, it cannot be anymore true. And I have seen it. Like Marissa said, if I want something to change, I do it myself now. I don't bother waiting around for a second. Have good intentions and know your why, your purpose, and I think everything will be in place. You don't have to try so hard. Just be honest.
[00:44:29]
Melissa: I love that. Thank you again, Nadira. Thank you so much. And all the best with all your endeavours and everything that lights your fire and expands your heart. Until next time, listeners, stay fearlessly curious and I'll see you in the next episode.
[00:44:47]
Melissa: Don't forget to leave a review and rate this podcast. See ya. Over and out.
[00:44:58]
Melissa: If you want more, make sure to subscribe so you never miss a new episode every Friday. And please leave a review if you enjoy this episode. Don't forget to send me your curious questions and experiences as inspiration for future episodes. Your anonymity will be respected. If that's what you prefer. For more guidance and support, join my emotional healing, mindfulness and music community over at melissaindot.com. See you next week.
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