EP.10 - Discover Your Purpose and Live With Fearless Authenticity
What is your purpose?
Everybody is searching for their purpose in life. And for many, that can come with a heavy burden, especially if you are unclear about what you want in life.
We typically compare ourselves with people who are doing amazing things, helping the underprivileged. And so there's a pressure to have this really big purpose, this pressure to discover what your purpose is.
So in this episode, I want to guide you in this journey of uncovering your life’s purpose. With a bit of exploration and self-reflection, you can discover what truly matters to you, not what society tells you to do.
Remember, you weren't born into this life to fit in. You were born to lead life in your YOUnique way.
What you struggle to change is actually your YOUnique super power. I know it may seem hard to believe at first. But I promise that when you let go of everything you think you should be, you will be empowered to BE the person you were born to be. Nothing more and nothing less.
I see you. I am with you. I celebrate you.
I would love to know how this episode lands for you.
TRANSCRIPT
And welcome to yet another episode of the Fearlessly Curious podcast with me Melissa Indot. This is the space where I share my personal journey, my personal lessons and learnings. And it's also the place where I get to reflect back on your curiosities. So many of you have been writing to me and have been asking for me to talk about certain topics, and also to share your experiences. And this is your place for us to come together.
This week, I'm going to be talking about purpose, which is somewhat of a buzzword. What is your purpose? Everybody is searching for their purpose in life. And for many that can come with a very heavy burden, especially if you are unclear as to what your purpose is. We typically compare ourselves with billionaires or philanthropists or people who are doing amazing things helping the underprivileged. And so there's a pressure to have this really big purpose, this pressure to discover what your purpose is, and almost perhaps even feel a little bit inadequate, that your purpose perhaps doesn't match up to the scale of the impact that other people are making in this world. Well, I'm here today to remind you that we don't measure purpose, society might.
But the truth is, purpose is grounded in intention. And I would say that your greatest purpose is to be you. So what do I mean by that, especially for those who maybe are not clear on who you are, maybe some listeners are in their 20s still discovering themselves, perhaps some listeners are in their 30s, they've reached a decade in their lives where they're feeling more confident and more sure of themselves. Perhaps some listeners are in their 40s. And now care less than or less bothered by what other people think of them and are really coming into their power. Perhaps some listeners are in their 50s, really understanding getting a clearer picture of their life's journey and what they want to do with it. The point is, it doesn't really matter where you are in your life, what is important for you to know is your purpose is to be fully present in your life's experience. And that means not always knowing why you're doing something or where you are.
Make your purpose, your intention, to be curious, to discover why you are here to learn in every opportunity that you have to embrace every moment that life offers you as an opportunity for great learning, to allow for greater self-compassion, and self-love. For those moments when you feel inexplicably vulnerable, helpless, and sometimes without direction. Because we can't always have direction, the whole purpose - there's the word - of being unsure and uncertain and sometimes being lost and confused is that these are opportunities for us to find ourselves again.
And there is great power in shifting the perspective of the words that we use. You can say I feel lost and connect with the power of what being lost truly means. Being lost simply means being in a surrounding, being in an environment, being in a situation that you've never been in before. And so there lies a beautiful opportunity to jump into adventure. Rather than go into the ever imaginative mind and wonder for the worst case scenario, perhaps we could invite ourselves to get back into our bodies with breath. So we're grounded and safe in the beautiful vessel of your body, connecting with Mother Earth through your feet, putting your hand on your heart, one hand in your belly and remembering that you have this incredible physical body to keep you safe.
And in that moment, rather than could be completely dominated by your worrying mind or your anxious mind that's shifting to a future that may never have happened, to a future that may never happen - that's called worry. Or maybe recalling events of the past, wondering if that might happen again, which creates anxiety. Instead, we can ground into the present moment and fully connect with what is happening with you in the here and now and decide based on that, what is the right course of action, that is your purpose, your purpose is to allow for the unfolding of your life.
And whilst your life unfolds, unfolds to remain present with each moment, in beautiful discovery mode, interfacing with life together in tandem. Your purpose is to connect with the flow of life, not to be separate from it, resisting it, being in conflict with it, perhaps even trying to avoid the flow of life trying to control it. These are all practices of the modern man, modern woman that caused a lot of stress, caused a lot of pain and discomfort and struggle in our lives. Your purpose is to be united with life to be in unity with life again, your purpose is to live the truest, most authentic version of who you were born to be. In each moment, your purpose is not to shrink yourself to fit into a system that wasn't built for you.
Your purpose is not to become something more, someone that society, your family, your peers, your friends tell you, you must be based on certain labels that you have inherited as you've grown up. Oh, you're creative? Oh, you're a musician? Are you good at numbers being an accountant? Oh, you're good at perspective being an architect. Oh, you're very artistic and a painter. Oh, you're incredibly caring and nurturing? Why don't you become a doctor or a nurse or a caregiver? These are labels and identities.
Yes, that helps us understand what our strengths and skill sets might be, what is natural to us. But without awareness, these labels will become limits that prevent us from our exponential growth that prevent us from the adventure and the exploration that life has to offer us. I don't have to be one dimensional, nor do I have to be two dimensional.
I myself grew up really, really good with numbers and had a natural affinity for numbers. And I see patterns. And so math and algebra, and calculus at school, there were topics that I was naturally good at. And as I got older and my interest diversified. Now, I decided that I wanted to pursue more of my interests and my time with music and creating and writing and playing and exploring and immersing myself in music, which, at least at the time that I was growing up was not seen as being very academic, it was not seen as being an avenue that would provide me with any level of security, whether financial, emotional or mental security.
In fact, it was seen as almost quite a dangerous and wild arena and industry to explore and to live in. And I was very much encouraged to stay on the academic path, per se, the professional path that being good at numbers offered me whether that was engineering or accountancy, or finance or banking. But you know, I followed my purpose, my purpose of discovering who I am and who I'm born to be. And I leaned into my curiosity and I had the resilience, natural resilience to break free from the stereotypes that could have weighed me down as a great burden, the stereotype of if you're good at math go and do accountancy, and I chose to pursue music, a little bit of a compromise because I did work as an accountant.
For the first 10 years of my life. I left uni and I started working and I followed the path of accountancy because I had a natural affinity for numbers. It's like if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Follow your heart and follow the natural skill sets and talents that you have. But what I also did was I pursued my passion for music by night. So I worked a nine to five job by day and by night and on the weekends, I pursued my passion, my creative interest in music, only to discover much later that music in and of itself is quite mathematical.
We count in beats, and rhythms. And the patterns in which melodies and harmonies are written is all very much likened to the patterns and the theories of math. So you see how important it is to keep your mind and heart open. Because labels can become limits. My talent and my gift for numbers was not something that I needed to exclusively apply to being in banking, or finance or accountancy. My affinity for the theories of mathematics, as in patterns, is directly and could directly be applied to music. And only through exploring that only by giving myself the opportunity to play, to follow my curiosity, was I able to discover that, and in the end, build a successful career in the music business, whilst also advancing my career in accountancy for as far as I could go, at least for as far as I wanted to.
So your purpose is to be you, your purpose is to discover who you are, and it doesn't matter what age you are, it's never too late. If you start playing the piano at 30. It's not how old you are, it's not at what stage in your life you are doing it, it's the fact that you've made the decision to do it, you've made it purposeful. If you decide you want to go back to university and get that degree in philosophy, at the age of 45. It's never too late. In fact, what you bring to the table is a wealth of life experience, that is going to influence the way that you learn the theories and the laws and the rules of philosophy, you're perhaps going to be more able to apply these theories and rules as you learn them.
So everything happens for a reason. And that's a phrase many of you have heard before, many of you perhaps even say, your purpose is to be quoting Dr. Seuss, the YOUest version of you. And our good friend, Lauren reminded me of that phrase, the YOUest version of you. Be mindful my friends, listening, the system of life that we have become accustomed to, yes creates some level of stability. Yes, it gives us a roadmap so we know where it is that we're going next. We start kindergarten, primary school, secondary school, college and university. Yes, we have an idea. But what we don't want is to lose our sense of individuality and give up, throw away, abandon the unique path that only you can walk. And that might mean challenging the status quo.
That might mean smashing the stereotypes that keep you locked in the system, which for me, meant dropping out of university. For some of you, it might mean changing your career, from banking to artistry, or it means it is getting clear that you want to lead your life your way, by your design. And even if you don't know cognitively in your mind what your design is, you will discover it as you live it.
So that's why fearless curiosity is something that I am so passionate about igniting, reigniting within you because you've always had it. You've always had it. You've never lost it. You've just forgotten about it because our conditioning has taken it away from us. It encourages us not to ask, it encourages us to be obedient. It's encouraged us to follow the trend, follow what is the norm, you weren't born into this life to fit in. You were born into this life, to lead life in your unique way.
Because only you can harvest the wisdom of life, through your lived experience. What is your purpose? Your purpose may be to save lives. Your purpose may be to dedicate your life to the healing, to the provision of care and love of other human beings. You may want to dedicate your life to the earth, to the land, to science, or you may want to dedicate your life to discovering who you are. There is no measure, there is no comparison. Each of us are here to do our unique job of discovering who you are to harvest the wisdom of your lived experience. Because in doing that, you emanate an energy, you emanate a wisdom that only you can emanate, you inspire, you motivate others to step into their uniqueness, as you model it, as you live it, and as you breathe it.
So when somebody asks you, do you know what your purpose is? I invite you to say, yes, my purpose is to be me, and to discover the new version of me in every moment, employing my fearless curiosity, so that I can live with fearless authenticity. And this is one of the reasons why I wrote a mantra, a song called The One. It was my return to music, the love of my life, after having spent many, many years unable to write music, because of the adversity that I was navigating, my personal journey of moving through intense grief, and healing from addiction, discovering, and walking the sober journey, I realized that in a world where we're being sold, life hacks and shortcuts, that the only way out is through. And that is the most powerful and nourishing part of life's journey, is to lean in, is to feel it all.
And as I keep saying, harvest the wisdom of the experience, so that we may share it with others, so that we may show up fully with all our scars, not our wounds, our scars that show the world and remind ourselves, what we have been through. And we can give those experiences purpose by sharing our stories and inspiring others to live the life that they were given, in a way that only they can.
So my friends until the next one, remember, you are the one, the light of the universe, and you bring hope when there's none. You are the answer to your questions. You are the solutions to your problems. You are the one whom you've been looking for. You are the one. And you are the purpose.
The title song and the music that takes us out of each episode is an instrumental version of the mantra, the one that I wrote for you. On those days when you need reminding. On those days, when you need to show up for you. Rather than look for someone to save you or help you. You can lean into the song as a hot song to remind you of your purpose and your power. You are the one. See you on the next one.
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About Me:
I help women lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.