EP.09 - How The Hustle Culture Impacts Our Health
Are you ready to break away from the hustle culture to bring more joy in your life?
This topic is one that is very close to my heart because it speaks to one of my deepest patterns with pain. I have an attachment to the narrative behind my pain and the conditioning that comes with societal standards associated with hustle culture and being tough and pushing through struggle.
Our culture has become increasingly focused on "hustling" and reaching milestones in our lives as quickly as possible and it often places an excessive strain on both our mental and physical health.
The hustle culture, with its fixation on productivity and perfectionism, often means there is no time for tending to pain. And pain left unchecked can lead to further damage and even emotional unhappiness.
So in this episode, we’ll talk about the purpose of pain and why it's so important to take the time to listen to our body, rather than just pushing through them in the pursuit of productivity.
I encourage you to really contemplate on this for a better quality of life, leaning into your curiosity so that you can live with fearless authenticity.
I can’t wait to hear your experiences and thoughts around hustle culture. Let's start to shift together what has become a toxic conditioning around pushing through pain.
TRANSCRIPT
Alright, so let's jump straight in today. We're going to talk about hustle culture, health and happiness. Okay, so you may or may not notice I have this beautiful white tape on my neck. Because after what I felt was an extraordinary weekend, I woke up with the most excruciating pain, literally pain in my neck. But the pain at the base of my head as well this morning. And it was so painful, it was so excruciating, this sharp piercing pain at the base of my head, that I literally couldn't get up, I could not get out of bed. But for the first time, I was afraid.
Now I have a really high pain threshold. Not sure it's something to be proud of but it's definitely a fact and it's making me explore more and more, my beliefs around health first of all. I used to think it was a good thing because I used to think it meant that I was tough, and I was strong, and I could hold pain and I could push through, boom!
But pain is there for a reason. Pain is there as an invitation to lean into our curiosity to ask. Why am I feeling this pain? Where am I feeling this pain? What is causing this pain? How can I bring comfort, healing, a cure, remedy to this pain? But let's circle back to the most important question around pain. Why am I feeling this pain?
But you see, when you have a mindset that having a high pain threshold is cool and it's tough. You numb yourself, you shut yourself down from asking these all important questions. Pain is there to point us to something. Pain has a purpose. The purpose is not to push through it, the purpose is to get curious.
So that's what I did this morning, right? I woke up with excruciating shooting pain in the back of my neck, back on my head, and couldn't get out of bed. I literally had to roll to my side and then carry my own head up because it was heavy.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking some of you might be wanting to crack some jokes. I was going to crack my own joke about my head being so heavy because of what's in it. Water. But, let's get serious. So pain caused me to start worrying. I leaned into my curiosity. I felt excruciating pain in my hip as well. I reviewed it, and I asked myself, why?
I am not pushing through this anymore. I've spent the majority of my life feeling proud of my high pain threshold. But this was just ridiculous and it's been a process folks. It has been a process. And it's been a process of awareness. And awareness is about being fearlessly curious. It's about asking why, how, when, what, not because you want to be a pain in the ass but because you want to know yourself better.
Because when you know yourself better, you can curate an experience that is about flowing with life and also getting the most and the best out of life in a way that is potentially pain free. In a way that invites more joy, not happiness, but more joy, more peace, and more grace and let's face it, more fun.
So I have been navigating this, my whole pain unconsciously, I push through. I don't like to take painkillers and I keep pushing through it. I keep pushing through it so much though my pain threshold supposedly because I keep telling myself it's high means that I have to feel extreme pain before I start paying attention and boy did I pay attention today so I booked thankfully I really booked an appointment to see my chiropractor because I do that now as maintenance because I'm growing more aware of my body in the aging process.
And also becoming more aware of what I have put my body through over the last 48 years and what I put my body through daily, and that means sitting on my ass for hours, while I'm prepping the podcasts and coaching and all the other stuff that I do, but also the joints and in my aging process of not having as well oil joints, and everything in between. Maintenance is important. Paying attention to pain is important. So thankfully, I already had an appointment with the chiropractor this morning. And before I went out, I thought, you know, I'm going to move my joints, maybe I'm just stiff.
So I went out for a walk in nature, because going for a walk grounds me, that's something else that I pay attention to. I've been curious and experimenting with different ways to start my day, to see the different effects that different practices have on the energy I have during the day. And also how it affects my thoughts and how it affects my well-being.
And I know when I start my day with an outdoor activity - doesn't have to be harsh, but outdoors, I really, really can feel the difference of the quality of the day that I live, and how productive I am, productive, not necessarily in quantity, but the quality of my life of my living, of my moment in my day. So I put myself out on a walk, I noticed my neck was stiff. And as I walked, I did start to feel better. I did a couple of gentle stretches. And when I came home, I thought I'm going to get on the yoga mat. And I'm going to stretch this out.
And you know what, once again, that pattern showed up, I stretched. And rather than go to my edge, and once I start feeling pain, pull back instead when I felt pain, I tried to push through it. And folks, this is just so insane. I'm saying this too. And I'm feeling like a complete dumbass. Because it doesn't make any sense, right? I felt the pain and I was trying to push through it, I was trying to stretch beyond the pain instead of taking note of the pain and pulling back.
But you see, my programming is so deep. It's so deep that in the moment when I'm consumed by pain, I lean into it even more, instead of surrendering, instead of pulling back and relaxing, I’m pushing.
So it made me think today, if I have this unconscious pattern in relationship with pain, then how does it affect my life in total? Am I still pushing and pushing through difficult situations when I create a processor system in which I work? And I'm struggling? Rather than pull back and pause and inquire and get curious and ask? is the system working for me? How does it feel for me? What is the quality of my life as I'm processing the system? Instead, when I'm struggling it's causing me pain. Am I pushing through it? In terms of relationships?
When I have a difficult conversation or an uncomfortable personality, it is uncomfortable to me. Do I have the ability to pause, take a moment and ask myself, what is a more peaceful approach? Or instead when I feel the pain? Do I push through? Do I try to fix it? Do I try to find a way to navigate this conversation so it can be better when maybe the best thing to do is to choose peace over pain and take a step back. Happiness and health.
Do I chase happiness through health? Or is happiness a byproduct of an outcome like I can only be happy if I can make peace with that person. But maybe the joy isn't in the happiness I find by making peace with somebody. But the joy and peace I feel I cultivate within me when I am at peace with conflict. I'm already at peace with that person. It's not something that I need to do I need to get to, but I can create right now can I make peace with my pain? By pulling back and easing into it and listening to what the pain is telling me and making peace.
Invite kindness, softness, tenderness, meet it - not push through. But meet it and deeply listen.
Am I prepared to really hear what the pain is telling me? You're getting older Melissa. You've beaten yourself up Melissa. It's time to take care of your body Melissa. It's time to do less but doing less is going to change how I identify with doing more and being productive and effective and the hustle culture that this entire system for some many of us has been built around.
Like you need to work hard to be successful, you need to work really hard to earn money, you have to deserve life, deserve success, deserve that big bank account. And in order to deserve and be worthy of it, you got to work hard and push through, you see this languaging?
So if I'm inviting a different way to be, rather than make peace, but be peaceful, then that is going to completely turn on its head, the very definition of who I am based on how I live. If I want to unplug from hustle culture, these are the different layers of who I am, that I'm going to have to need to face and there's going to be pain facing it. Because let's face it, my friends, when we decide to make a shift, that's holding space for pain, not because we want to feel it.
But because it signifies transformation. It's a mark of change, and potentially your mark of growth. So this is what I want to bring into this conversation, hustle culture and ask you.
How many of you are plugged into hustle culture? How many of you are pushing through the pain of life, the pain in your neck, the pain in your head of thinking, the pain of living a life that is based on somebody else's programming? The pain of putting your dreams and desires on the shelf? Are you prepared to continue pushing through hustle culture to fit in the system that wasn't built for you? Or are you ready to feel a different kind of pain to witness the pain of transformation that takes you from who you think you should be to the person you were born to be?
Are we chasing an outcome based on somebody else's strategy to achieve happiness or am I ready to look in the mirror and own and have an honest conversation about who I am today and what got me here in order to discover what of that process is no longer relevant, so that I can let go of it not because I want to criticize and I want to downplay and I want to beat myself up for all the choices I've ever made.
But because I want to celebrate all those choices I made because they brought me to where I am today right here right now in this moment where I can rediscover pain and invite not happiness but joy. Where I can be at peace with where I am and who I am with fearless curiosity. Now I see that in front of me there is limitless potential. And there are an infinite number of possibilities that I can reach into and I can step into, because with awareness now, my view of life has just been upgraded.
My level of health is being upgraded. Because I am no longer blinded. I'm no longer hiding under this veil of illusion of who I think I should be and what I have to do and what I should do. But instead, I'm stepping into the fullness of who I am becoming in this landscape that is uncertain, because the land of uncertainty is where anything can happen.
Are you ready to step away from hustle culture, to cultivate optimum health, so that not only can you feel more joy in your life, but you can also give more joy to others in your life? Are you ready to transmute, transform your concept of pain and push through and give pain, the stage and spotlight to highlight its true purpose?
And it's true purpose is to guide you towards change. Are we going to start paying attention? Are we going to start listening, leaning in and learning our place in the world and where pain is taking us? That's my question for you. And I would love to hear from you of how you think pain has played a part in your life and whether you're ready to move through that.
Three main tips for you right now. Notice when you're in pain, pay attention to any patterns around noticing the pain that you feel. Where are you? Who are you with? What topics of conversation are you having? And then practice the pause. Pause in that pain. Breathe, breathe into it. Breath is life. Breath brings ease and then lean in and ask pain, what do you need?
Until the next episode. I invite you to really contemplate this for a better quality of life, leaning into your curiosity so that you can live with fearless authenticity, living according to you, affords you more freedom to break free from the shackles of pain. Until the next one. Ciao ciao. Stay curious and fearless.
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About Me:
I help women lead with fearless authenticity by smashing the self-imposed heteronormative stereotypes that keep you playing small through emotional healing inner child and inherited intergenerational trauma. Create a purposeful life of your unique design by disrupting societal norms and expectations of who you should be. Explore mindfulness, fearless curiosity and loving kindness through the lens of Human Design to thrive as the person you are born to be.
Learn more about my coaching method and join my emotional healing, mindfulness, and music community at melissaindot.com.